Cnr Joe

Sorry, still no Fishing Guide online, hang on, I’ll do it.

In Uncategorized on May 22, 2009 at 4:30 am

I wouldn’t have to do this if The Gisborne Herald would do its job and publish this dirty secret column online  with rest of The Gisborne Herald Online.

Fishing Guide by Murray Ferris                     Friday 22 May o9

I am currently entertaining people with great connections (well, one Alan Tolley actually) and the conversation has swung towards things useless but that in some future point in time have great relevance. Two bottles of $6.99 red from Woolies and a so called aged bottle of Trinity Hill and frankly my “who gives a toss file” is overflowing. Well this week, frankly, I have had a shocker. I am on some guys blog for all the world to see and I have had accusations of great magnitude levelled at me by a fella of great edumacation and I have no idea what I have done to incur such wrath. But such is the price of fame. I am a humble man and if this diatribe does not reflect that, forgive me. I am from a dark place and use more oxygen than I am allocated, but read Saturdays Gisborne Herald and all will be revealed.

It has been a week of great mystery, as I have previously alluded to. The recession is biting and people who operate businesses have gone to great lengths to come up with ways to enhance their incomings, but none like the bandy-legged ginga respectfully known as Kevvy. He sent forth his staff and their concubines to seek fortunes of unbelievable volume and in no time at all they struck upon a method so devious as to make ones head spin….The plot was simple, go around the traffic island, hit the accelerator instead of the brake and go through the window of the dispensary of viagra and aspirin with such vigour as to totally destroy the front window. Well the cynics amongst us would say “tut, tut” had a terrible accident. Bull dust and horse pututti, it was no accident. Think about it you stupid people, windows have glass, I sell glass ( in the vernacular of Kevin Hollis glass, Bramwell rings and I fix it – jeez, give me a break, it was no accident.

I have been waved to by Kevin Jones, ignored by sparrow-legs Faber and chastised by a guy with a higher education – how good can it get, ooooh i can hardly wait for next week.

The fishing report for next weekend:

The rivers are in fine order, the fish are getting tingly between their fins – for it is time to make little fishes – and if your mummy says you can go out and play this weekend, gather your toys and go wherever takes your fancy, you will be well rewarded for you efforts. There are showers forecast through till Sunday, so a reasonable amount of common sense will be required. if you are woken by pounding rain on your whare roof, don’t bother going fishing.

Didymo is still a threat.

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