Cnr Joe

Archive for May, 2009|Monthly archive page

prospective Letter to Ed, what fun

In Uncategorized on May 27, 2009 at 8:21 am

Dear Sir,

Just to address M.Ferrisssss’s (epic) footnote as appended to my submission to you.

Does he really need two columns of the same diatribe per week? Like, its day after day with this guy..we know, National of the back blocks roots ‘won’ the election..we get it……day after..

Are there no examples of local sow-crating/leaky pooling/shizer local governancing, EastlandhmanGroupBrothersing you could twitch your local antennae towards?


Here comes Gavin: a finely crafted letter followed by

In Uncategorized on May 27, 2009 at 6:31 am
Being called activist is a compliment
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
The rhetorical sniping between “Poor young Conor” and “Menacing Murray” is great fun. In the words of the latter, bring it on: I am sure the former can hold his own.

However, having spent many years as a political activist, I resent anyone resenting being called an activist. The man should take it as a compliment.

Further, Conor Jeory made no imputation that Mr Ferris’s party affiliation had anything to do with the views he expressed. In the domain of slander? Please! (Technically, the domain of slander is speech: I think poor old Murray meant libel.)

Finally, since letters are addressed to the Editor, and Mr Ferris is far too old a hand to change address accidentally in mid-debate, I sincerely hope you do not take exception to being called “sunshine”.

It suits you.

Gavin Maclean

Story by The Gisborne Herald
Copyright © The Gisborne Herald

nice one

Stick to fishing, Murray
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Regarding the Fishing Guide . . . . Week after week anglers have had to read a load of rubbish that Murray Ferris writes under heading Fishing Guide.

I doubt that even a meagre 15 percent of his writings relate to fishing. Since his reports have totally lost direction, I would be surprised if many anglers bother to read this report any more.

How does (quote) “roll over and go nigh nighs cause daddy needs some sleep” relate to anything vaguely connected with fishing.

If Murray wants to continue writing about cuckoo land, he should change his title to Dreamtime Land and engage another person to provide a more factual fishing report.

R. Hart

Give us more on rivers, lakes and conditions
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Menace disguised as fishing guide . . . I AGREE! For the past month or so we have had to read this gibberish. Half of us wouldn’t have a clue who Mr Ferris’s mates are, or really care. Can’t we just go back to the fishing report stating all the local rivers and lakes, their condition and how they’re fishing, not just a quick paragraph at the end.


Banging the Stadium drum dee dum. Advocacy Journalism?

In Uncategorized on May 23, 2009 at 8:52 pm

Saturdays Herald readers Poll:

What order of priority should Gisborne District Council place on the following in its 10-year plan?

Please select in order of priority.

1 Multi-sport centre and pool

2 Repair pool, no multi-sport centre

3 More city walkways and cycleways

4 Create a civic square

5 Developing the inner harbour

6 Upgrading flood control scheme

No option offered to Not Vote for the damn stadium, just order these choices.

Having just run a frontpage story showing a majority of respondents to the district plan reject Brian Wilson and Eastland Groups Pet Stadium (they’ve been saving that money up for something) our Herald runs this poll.

Pushing an agenda? Giving silly ratepayers another chance to get it right?

Perhaps the Editorial would lay their cards on the table?

Sunshine, in a dark place. I need my head read to take on this kind of crazy

In Uncategorized on May 23, 2009 at 4:35 am
A psychotic threat to the citizenry? Please!
Saturday, 23 May 2009
Footnote: Poor young Conor certainly has me in a dark place, “a psychotic threat levelled at the citizenry” – please! Shame he thinks I use too much oxygen, I am probably “oxygen neutral” because the animals I hunt have left some spare for Conor to use, albeit in strange ways. Any way, I am also “a likeable chap”. Talk about a kick in the guts and a pat on the head all in one sentence.

I certainly have no baggage regarding what is right and wrong, and I certainly don’t propose open slather with firearms. I do, however, have over 50 years experience with firearms. They have given me, my family and hunting friends tremendous recreational pleasure and not a moment of unlawful activity. Now the debate will esculate to “killing stuff” I am sure, however, I waste nothing I kill; I love wild game on the menu. Unless you are a vegetarian, Conor, all the meat we eat has been killed in some way. I am sure to the cow, chicken, pig or sheep it’s irrelevent whether it’s a steel rod shot into the brain or a bullet.

My biggest frustration is how we have become, and are increasingly becoming, a nation paranoid about guns – and all because we have been so dumbed down in this country that the minute some idiot does something wrong with one, we as law-abiding citizens pay the price. They chip dogs because some people are irresponsible dog owners, they have anti-smacking laws cause some parents just plain and simple should not have kids, and I and many others are over it.

As far as taking instant and terminal action against people who shoot and kill police (or anyone else for that matter), bring it on and the sooner the better. We have tried the mamby-pamby approach and it has never been worse than it is now. The so-called social watchdogs would be quick to change sides if it was one of their own who was affected by these people who break the rules.

P.S. I am a National Party supporter, I resent being called an activist or any inference that the National Party membership in any way supports or shares my views. That, sunshine, is lurking in the domain of slander.

Murray Ferris

Story by The Gisborne Herald
Copyright © The Gisborne Herald

Sorry, still no Fishing Guide online, hang on, I’ll do it.

In Uncategorized on May 22, 2009 at 4:30 am

I wouldn’t have to do this if The Gisborne Herald would do its job and publish this dirty secret column online  with rest of The Gisborne Herald Online.

Fishing Guide by Murray Ferris                     Friday 22 May o9

I am currently entertaining people with great connections (well, one Alan Tolley actually) and the conversation has swung towards things useless but that in some future point in time have great relevance. Two bottles of $6.99 red from Woolies and a so called aged bottle of Trinity Hill and frankly my “who gives a toss file” is overflowing. Well this week, frankly, I have had a shocker. I am on some guys blog for all the world to see and I have had accusations of great magnitude levelled at me by a fella of great edumacation and I have no idea what I have done to incur such wrath. But such is the price of fame. I am a humble man and if this diatribe does not reflect that, forgive me. I am from a dark place and use more oxygen than I am allocated, but read Saturdays Gisborne Herald and all will be revealed.

It has been a week of great mystery, as I have previously alluded to. The recession is biting and people who operate businesses have gone to great lengths to come up with ways to enhance their incomings, but none like the bandy-legged ginga respectfully known as Kevvy. He sent forth his staff and their concubines to seek fortunes of unbelievable volume and in no time at all they struck upon a method so devious as to make ones head spin….The plot was simple, go around the traffic island, hit the accelerator instead of the brake and go through the window of the dispensary of viagra and aspirin with such vigour as to totally destroy the front window. Well the cynics amongst us would say “tut, tut” had a terrible accident. Bull dust and horse pututti, it was no accident. Think about it you stupid people, windows have glass, I sell glass ( in the vernacular of Kevin Hollis glass, Bramwell rings and I fix it – jeez, give me a break, it was no accident.

I have been waved to by Kevin Jones, ignored by sparrow-legs Faber and chastised by a guy with a higher education – how good can it get, ooooh i can hardly wait for next week.

The fishing report for next weekend:

The rivers are in fine order, the fish are getting tingly between their fins – for it is time to make little fishes – and if your mummy says you can go out and play this weekend, gather your toys and go wherever takes your fancy, you will be well rewarded for you efforts. There are showers forecast through till Sunday, so a reasonable amount of common sense will be required. if you are woken by pounding rain on your whare roof, don’t bother going fishing.

Didymo is still a threat.

Tortured beasts makes the front page.

In Uncategorized on May 22, 2009 at 4:25 am
‘Catch the sadists’
Friday, 22 May 2009
By Kiri Gillespie
A “sadistic” and “horrendous” attack on several cattle beasts at Muriwai has horrified the SPCA, which has joined police in appealing for information to help catch the people responsible.

Police continue to follow a strong line of inquiry into the incident in which a cattle beast’s hindquarters were hacked off while it was still alive.

They believe an axe was used and that several people were involved in the Saturday night attack.

They chased cattle around a holding pen, slashing at them with knives.

Another cattle beast was found wandering in the village the next day, bleeding heavily and highly stressed. Residents contacted the farmer who collected the animal and returned to the Muriwai Beach Road holding paddock where he found the other animal lying in a pool of blood behind hay bales – still alive.

Gisborne SPCA branch manager and national councillor Carol Martin said the attack was one of the most chilling cases of cruelty to animals she had come across in this district.

The attack demonstrated a level of violence that appeared to be “psychopathic”.

“What made this really disturbing is the proven link between violence to animals and violence to people,” she said.

“Sociological studies have proven that people who attack animals are equally likely to be abusive and violent in their approach to people.”

Ms Martin said this “sadistic” behaviour was past being a normal animal welfare issue.

“It is torture,” she said.

“Such behaviour is becoming more widespread throughout New Zealand. There seems to be no empathy or remorse. These cattle would have suffered a horrendous amount of pain.”

The two animals were highly distressed when they were found the next day and had to be killed.

They cannot account for a third missing cattle beast.

Ms Martin said the SPCA supported police in their calls for information relating to the “savage” incident.

“It is time we all stood up and were counted as a nation, by reporting and stopping such behaviour,” Ms Martin said.

Senior Sergeant Tony Gibson said police were still making inquiries and encouraged anyone with information to contact them.

“We have stock thefts all the time. They are not unusual – but this one is unusual because of the cruelty involved,” he said.

“That’s what makes this such a significant case.”

Mr Gibson described the people responsible as “gutless”.

It is thought they might have gained entrance to the paddock from the nearby beach.

Story by The Gisborne Herald
Copyright © The Gisborne Herald

It is significant healthy people can debate issues in our paper

In Uncategorized on May 21, 2009 at 6:57 pm
From the Letters:
It is healthy that people can debate significant issues in our newspaper
Thursday, 21 May 2009
I think that it is healthy that people are debating significant issues like God and the afterlife in your paper.

It means that people are thinking about it. I know a person who took a philosophy of religion paper at university.

Half the lectures were by atheists and half by theists. Depending on your personal stance you left each lecture feeling either challenged or vindicated.

One day as they walked home from a particularly hard-hitting session by a Cambridge atheist, they reflected on why they still believed in God despite these powerful rational arguments against his existence.

It suddenly dawned on them that they still believed because they had experienced God.

You could call this: “Knowing God personally.”

Modern philosopher Alvin Plantinga says that it is intellectually dishonest to deny something that a person knows to be self-evidently true.

Recently I spoke to another man who told me that he used to be a militant atheist. He said that he saw his purpose in life being to divest others of their primitive superstitions. He loved to bamboozle young Christians with complex philosophical arguments.

He also confided that he would often arrogantly question the intellectual abilities of believers in God.

This all changed one day when he fell terribly ill. Against his reason he found himself calling out to the ‘God’ he didn’t believe in for help.

Finally he began attending a church of his choice and there confessed to Jesus as his God.

For this person, at least, it would seem that there are no atheists in the trenches after all!

It is important, however, to debate these issues because at least it keeps them before the minds of people who may not otherwise think about them.

G. Macpherson

Story by The Gisborne Herald
Copyright © The Gisborne Herald

Standard issue stuff for this Letters to the Editor Column.

Other regular entries through this narrow filter include: Abortion is Evil?, Whats the world coming to? and We must all work together!!

And because I am about to – I note the mumble at the very bottom of Mr/Mrs? Macphersons letter :

Story by The Gisborne Herald

Copyright © The Gisborne Herald

now there has been rumour and accusations of the Editor writing letters himself under a variety of pseudonyms (denied vociferously by the Paper – almost as shrillly as PenguinFarrar regarding his kite-flying for the Nacts).

The Ian Wishart Within Me says that following up a member of the publics ‘letter’ with this claim of ownership points to two things:

a/ It is not a letter- it is a written ‘story’.

b/ The Herald claims copyright over anything they publish – once they’ve rewritten it to fit their agenda – because thats quite appropriate for works of fiction.

Seems pigs are safe in their crates

In Uncategorized on May 20, 2009 at 6:32 pm

Couldn’t sleep too well last night.

Heres why ;

From Page Four Wednesday 20 May(since I have to tap tap this out myself I’ve sped it up..)

Cattle slashed, mutilated in ‘heinous’ night attack. by Kiri Gillespie

Cattle beasts were still alive when they were stabbed and mutilated by a group of people who hacked off the hind quarters of one beast and left it to bleed out in the paddock where it had been held.

Police are following a strong line of inquiry into the Muriwai incident, where two of the stock were eventually put down.

They are still appealing for any information on the incident as they try to account for another missing beast…….a group of people appeared to have chased one of the cattle beasts around the paddock slashing at it with knives before removing its hindquarters….senior constable Bruce Amai said there would of had to have been several people involved because it would of been quite hard to remove those hindquarters…they would of had to have used an axe at least….Mr Amai said the attack was unbelievable….they have also chased another cow and slashed at it with knives, cutting it across it’s face and neck…It is thought this beast escaped the was found wandering around the village next day bleeding and highly stressed…residents called the farmer and when he returned to the paddock he discovered the other animal lying behind hay bales in a pool of blood still alive….the two animals were in pain and had to be put out of their misery…”We are still asking for witnesses to come forward to provide any information…police believe the group  of peole could of accessed the paddock from the beach.

Now I really gotta go wash these fingers

I’ll have to come back to this, but we are a truly a dark country away from the bright city lights and under our ‘she’ll be right’ clean green paradisaical self image.

We farm brutally, we take our recreation brutally and brutal things happen. And more often than not its the animals that suffer.

And I looked in vain in this story to see the word cow used, even just once, but…no. Beast is the preferred word out here in the wild wild east.

slashing animals for fun

In Uncategorized on May 20, 2009 at 8:04 am

not in the online edition but there’s a corker of a ‘slashing animals for fun’ story in the Herald tonight, hang on, I’ll track down a hard copy, might be one inside

Nothing to do with the Gizzy Herald, but, well it is a farmers paper..

In Uncategorized on May 19, 2009 at 7:37 pm

my god,

morning report, 7.26am 20 may

the pig farmer: …those activists upset my pigs…….won’t have crates on my new farm in 2 and a half years time….. my mates from Denmark think i’m being stupid using them….activists practise breaking in at my farm…..

Farmers: the spotlight is coming on you and your party of natural allegiance is in power. How odd.

Emissions? run-off, erosion,  industrial intensive practises, faux free-ranging, all the shabby practises are coming into light.

Any local pig farmers our local paper might like to have a look at? A bit of journalism perhaps? Get a bit of reporting happening?