another year and whathefuck? Meng?

5 Feb, 2010

Chinese breakfast and all the trimmings by Murray Ferris A friend has just returned from a business trip to China, wonders whether he will go back cause in his words ‘it’s bloody hard work’. This is a transcript of his conversation. By the end of it you will understand Chinese I reckon. Room service: ‘Morrin Roon Serbees’ My Mate: ‘Sorry thought I dialled room service’ Rooms service: ‘Rye. Roon Serbees… Morrin! Jewish to odder sunteen’ My Mate:’Uh.. yes please I’d like to order bacon and eggs’ Room service: ‘Ow ulai kem’ My Mate: ‘What’ Room service: ‘Ow ulai kem? ‘Pryed,boyed, poch’d’ My Mate: ‘Oh the eggs! How do I like them? Well . . . scrambled please.’ Room service: ‘Ow ulai dee bayken? Cripsee’ My Mate:’Crisp is fine.’ Room service: ‘Hokay ahn sahn toes’ My Mate: ‘What?’ Room Service: ‘ Ahn toes,.. ulai sahn toes.’ My Mate: ‘I don’t think so, I am sorry but I don’t know what you are saying.’ Room service; ‘Toes, toes, why u no wan toes? Ow bow ingish moppin we botter.’ My Mate: ‘Oh, English muffin, we were talking about toast. I understand, muffin please’ Room service: ‘We botter.’ My Mate: ‘Just put butter on the side.’ Room service: ‘Wad yo men.’ My Mate: ‘Just put it on the plate.’ Room service: ‘Copy.’ My Mate: ‘Excuse me?’ Room service: ‘Copy, Tea, Meel’. My Mate: ‘Coffee please.’ Room service: ‘Won minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, angish moppin we botter on sigh and copy… rye?’ My Mate: Whatever you say.’ Room service: ‘Tanjooberrymutts.’ Do you understand chinese now?

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